this is one came from one of martins workshops
Wed, 03/09/2008 - 13:51 — Yvonne
The first Cut
the silver river glitters
molten current I cannot fight.
not that it pulls you against your will.
you have already made your choice,
turned your back to swim for another shore.
relinquished me to whirlpool blues.
sitting in the hairdressers I see red
my reflection ignores ribbons of steam
curling from my head
the stylist asks
wash and blow?
sharply firmly no I said
“cut it, cut it all off please”.
Yvonne MC CALLA
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Comments
The First Cut
Hey Yvonne,
Nadeem here, hope you're well.
I know this was written 9 months ago but it is the first time I've read it (sincere apologies for not doing it sooner - I'm rotten aren't I - Ha ha!).
Seriously though, I like the specificity of it and I can really picture myself in the actual salon where this is taking place. The whole five senses concept really works here - very cleverly done!
Excellent stuff!
N x
rivers, hair, salon
It has that intriguing feel that a good martin poem always has. I could definitely read it 2 or 3 times and not get bored. Initially I thought the blue to red shift abrupt. But then I started to get the connection / the mood shift and thought, 'ah'. Best poems make me say 'ah!' PS u never pcike dup your 20 quid for winning that mini poem competition! - pete
Yvonne Mc Calla thanks for
Yvonne Mc Calla
thanks for reminding me pete
tell you what can i use the prize money for my entry fee for the Crocus novel comp...