Aqueducts
Tue, 30/03/2010 - 10:25 — Pete Kalu
The SatNav nudges me back to
a place I don't recognise
Inside the porch, bills wave,
flat folded carton waits
I fill the bath, marvel at
The stillness of the water
Later, through glass, the usual pathetic fallacies:
scowling sky, bare trees, a lost dog.
Comments
a suggestion
the sat nav nudges me back, to a place
i don’t recognise
bills wave from the porch
flat folded carton, waits
filling the bath, the stillness of water
later, deformed in the glass, the usual fallacies:
scowling sky, bare trees,
unkempt dreadlocks explaining a lost dog
like this but prefer Pete's
like this
but prefer Pete's last line
don't the rules say post one
don't the rules say post one poem a week, max 2? :-)
love this one.
Only weak line is l2 - why do you not recognise it? Also, recognise would need : with full stop after water
like the mystery in this , esp. inthe last line .
strongest of all 3 poems in terms of content and format (for me anyway) because it feels more thought out and complete creatively. I esp. like the flow of this as it is in couplets.