From Sticklebricks To Lego, Turning Left at Willo-The Wisp.
My inner child
wants to explore the wonders
of washing up liquid bottles
and the adaptability of
sticky back plastic
Wants to stick her face in glitter
Apply for a Blue Peter Badge
Recieve a Why Don't You Fact Pack
And have Jim fix it for her
to finger-paint her way to success
She wants to skip
Turn handstands
And camp in the Wendy House
Sucking hot chocolate
through a twirly straw
Little Me wants to
fuzzy-felt away the lonely evenings
And detain the Care Bear for questioning
at the Lego police station
She magnadoogles herself a new life
By the embers of a fading fire
Condiders magnets and the fallacy
That opposites attract
She wants to be spirindangilly:
Display loony smiles at bus stops
'Tick' her office colleagues
Tell them they are 'it'
Then run to hide
Giggling amongst the staplers
Inner child reads
'The Enchanted Wood'
By the light of a glow worm
Her Victoria Plum duvet
Keeping dreams warm and possible
Her Christmas list
Asks Santa for a
cheekaboo and a Strawberry Shortcake
Comments
Some great lines here
in this poem. I particularly like 'finger paint her way to success'
and 'sucking hot chocolate through a twirly straw'
and 'giggling among the staples'
great images in this piece. I agree with the earlier comment in that the poem could be tightened to get your message across more vividly, but keeping the strong images.
For example, you could take out words like 'display' and 'wants to be' and let the images speak for themselves.
Have you read any of Jackie Hagan's poems, you have a similar style, I just bought her book 'wisdom of the jumble sale' it's a great read.
Love Belinda x
amusing and hearfelt
an amusing and heartfelt poem, particularly like small snapshots of office 'oworld of the imagination. I feel it could be condensed, if for the page, and perhaps I'm over influnced by Robert Frost at the moment cos I've been reading him (see my comment on Belindas poem) but structurally, maybe there could be a movement from reverie/delight to wisdom?