Every time I think of you I cry,
So I try not to think of you
I just look at your picture
And remember all the good times
Never before have I felt such extreme emotions
Never have I loved so deeply and wholly
Even though sometimes I could just about like you
But you were had an incredibly knack
Of being adorable
Your smile alone
Could melt an icy heart
Your truth, although necessary, never hurt
I could go from being infuriated by you
To laughing with you
Before I realised it
I loved your writing
As much as you loved mine
You made me want to write
Just so that we could argue
I remember dedicating a poem to you
Because, I knew it was the only way
You would listen
And though you were slightly offended
You heard what I said
Your writing was prolific
Your stanzas memorable
I always thought you had a wisdom
Way beyond your years
And an understanding quite profound
Now I know why
Because you knew
That tomorrow was not promised
So you made your impact on every day
I only have fond memories of you
Because I know you were a gift
Too sweet to savour
But too piquant to forget.
Rest in peace my beautiful friend
I will love you forever.
Melanie Duncan (c)
Comments
love it .... I have a
love it .... I have a picture of Dike which I lookat occasionally
moving, original and sad
Thank you ; )
Thank you ; )
In Memoriam
There are some beautiful moments in this poem Melanie, I especially like the two final stanzas, the 'tomorrow was not promised so you made your impact...' and 'too piquant to forget' lines are particularly poignant.
It's hard to criticize work that's so personal, but I suppose I wonder if some of the lines are as fresh as they could be? Phrases like 'remembering the good times' and the image of a smile melting an icy heart seem a bit over familiar, are there more unique ways you could find to express your deep emotion that would serve it better? Overall though I think it's a great tribute, and I like the bitter-sweet tone, I think it's important to mention the negative as well as the positive aspects of our relationships when we remember people...
I accept the points you made
I accept the points you made and will consider changing them, as I agree, this is the 1st draft. I also loved the same 2 lines you chose!!!
Your Poem
Beautiful! I love this open and honest exploration of your feelings. JennyT
Thank you Jenny :)
Thank you Jenny :)