The perfect man?
I see you from across the room,
Looking kinda fine
Souls connecting, eyes staring
I wonder if I should approach
Cause I wanna make you mine
Chocolate covered skin, beautiful hazel eyes
For you to be this fine
It must be a sin.
You slowly come over
And my heart skips a beat.
I can hear the rhythmic sounds,
Made by the souls of your feet.
We start talking, but I’m felling kind of shy
Conversation starts to flow, when I look into your eyes.
We go on a couple dates and we seem to get on well.
If you’re the perfect man, only time will tell.
Things seem to turn funny, you’re not acting the same.
You say you want to be with me,
But why you playing games.
I feel I really like this guy,
But I’m getting in too deep
My feelings for you keep growing,
And I’m finding it hard to sleep.
People ask me why I stay, but I hold on,
Thinking things will change
And it won’t end this way.
A couple months go by
And all you do is make me cry.
I see you with another girl
Now it’s time to say goodbye.
The perfect man?
Or was that just a lie?
Comments
yes I agree more detail
yes I agree more detail
the perfect man
well er um, I think this subject is one for the sisterhood to respond to!
As a poem, it tells a moving if brief story. Like a very short film. The storywriter in me, as usual, feels it would be improved with specific details. Three specific reasons you liked him- gotta be things that are not cliches/ ie not his beautiful smile, his wicked laugh etc- tiny details are often most effective. Then two strange moments again specific, that told you something was wrong. I can see this might lead you into trouble though - your friends might spot who the guy is etc!