Moment.
Sat, 30/05/2009 - 08:50 — Dave Robinson
I live on my own but i am surrounded by writers, all books of description vying for my attention. I cast my eyes along the crooked case, and run my nimble fingers down their spines as if braille feeling for words. Which one of you will take me too my zenith of emotions, who will hold the compass and guide me to nirvana, or will trickery flicker like a dying candle to enlarge my shadow to choose for me. Let the breath of your words whisper as i flick through your body, until the pages stop then i will go back to being alone.
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Comments
Moment
Wow - this is really good! Really original imagery and concepts and the description is great! I particularly like the "all books of description vying for my attention", which gives depth, passion and substance to what you're saying. There's just one point I would make - the word nirvana to me is a bit over used and has become in my opinion almost cliched, although the irony is the very images it stands for are anything but as it means different things to different people. If at all possible, try to find a different word or expression that is less obvious but conveys exactly the same thing and that would make it perfect.
Apart from that one point, great stuff!
N
Cheers Nad, as soon as i put
Cheers Nad, as soon as i put Nirvana in the piece i knew it should have been something else.
words
I like 'braille' spines and i like 'zenith'. Started to relaise you like 'nimble' nuh?! lol
The books seem like a lover, I know the feeling, got too many myself, but can't give them up (books that is)...
Just trying out new styles,
Just trying out new styles, when i'm not working on my
Autobiography, which is very hard at times. But i will keep plugging away and working on my details, details, details.