The washing machine judders
Spills out the over stuffed load
The kitchen floor protests the intrusion
On his quiet day
Door groans open
He sighs with relief
Retches up sopping jeans
Heavy hoodies
Combat pants
Heaves up the enforced fodder
Clears his throat
And relaxes
He offers up his silent prayer
To silicone heaven
Wishes for a light
Half-load next time
Hungry laundry basket is fed
With knotty bras
Tangled knickers
And murky whites
One of your socks fondly holds
The arm of my pyjamas
Softened by familiarity
And friendship
My inner child
wants to explore the wonders
of washing up liquid bottles
and the adaptability of
sticky back plastic
Wants to stick her face in glitter
Apply for a Blue Peter Badge
Recieve a Why Don't You Fact Pack
And have Jim fix it for her
to finger-paint her way to success
She wants to skip
Turn handstands
And camp in the Wendy House
Sucking hot chocolate
through a twirly straw
Little Me wants to
fuzzy-felt away the lonely evenings
And detain the Care Bear for questioning
at the Lego police station
She magnadoogles herself a new life
Hands tentatively reaching and touching
Accross a Star Bucks table
Sticky with three times spilt coffee
For the first time
Eyes, once averted shyly
Raise warily to the face accross
Two small smiles edge out of hiding
Fingers entwine
Stomach knotts
Words evaporate:
Their essence permaetes the air
as realisation settles in
Nervous thoughts fizz between them
making hair ease behind ears
and legs twitch
A foot finds companionship beneath table
rests there-magnatized in place
Welcomed warmly by its new aquaintance
Toes curl in anticipation:
long to be without shoe
(A piece inspired by my facebook fairy-Daisy Hope)
Daisy Hope is made of mist and light
Has stars in her pockets
And moon dust in her hair
She speaks fluent unicorn and Luna Script
And can sign for hearing imapired snowdrops
She is purity and possibility
A guide for souls who have forgot
The geography of their past
The sum of their present
And have miss-spelt their future
A cosmic compass for the lost
She shimmers and shines like glitter
radiating fantasy
She believes the world began with stardust and magic
She explains the meaning of life in sequins
Feelings piercing skin
tensing bone
nothing stored for yourself
control stolen, hope lost
the 5am struggle to sleep
Not a speck of time
to breath
Head space packed and swelling:
abusive ideas with heavy fists
bashing fragile flesh and mind
damaging and destroying
feeding self doubt
and insecurity
starving the soul
Struggling to like yourself,
lie to yourself
and paint the world positive
cope with the shape of existence
cringing at lifes texture
And dreading!
the colour of tomorrow
Desperately Seeking logic
in rubble of feelings
miss-spelling life as 'shit'
She reins emotions in
saddles up against un-raged storms
If she had to say she loved you
the words would
cascade from her soul
threading silver highlights through the air
on their descent to the ground
where they would pool around her feet
in regret
First Feeling
Sitting side by side:
a tiny space and 14 years between us
Filled with warmth, tension and uncertainty
I let my leg graze your knee
not knowing what I'm doing
or deciding
I leave it there
continuing to listen to the speaker
Pretending not to realise
concentrating on the feeling
I avert my eyes
and think of you
Of how I thought of myself
before I met you
Of how I knew myself before you
like falling glitter I realised something new
like a transient rainbow
I knew it would end
I already felt the echo of pain
A small smile, knowing and shy
She sits on the train
Covered in bread crumbs and lonliness
remenants of a vegie buttie and dessertion
She's a forgotten ember in an unwanted fire
becoming scared, growing shier
Yester-years pain smoulders in her eyes
burns scarlet and fizzles noticed by commuters
Who see, and avert there eyes
And release impateint retisent sighs
She is heavy with Unsaid words
and overly stated feelings
Knotted springs of discontent coiled in her soul
putting her in mind of tangled slinkies
and knotted together silver chains
Her sanity is turquise
I am all the lost socks
your washing machine has eaten
And dog has desecrated for you-
Scattered fragments for hungry hoovers
I am every sparkly object that's
Lost its shine
And misplaced its twinkle:
the lack-lustre sequin
And the forgotten glitter
I am all the coluring books
with scribble round the edges of hard black lines
That can stick up for themselves
The pictures are shaded in kind colours
harsh to themselves
They dont fight back
I'm random snap cards missing from the pack
Which spoils the game
One Mr Tickle hides in the wardrobe anxious and jittering
With a chilling cup of tea in one hand
I tell them how their icy words sliced me
irradicated facets of me i can't get back
Emptied me of the innocent jollity
I should have felt
The belonging I had every right to:
That I was denied
Every night I prayed
Every night I cried
The alpabet failed me:
Words let me down and they didn't read my letters.
My silence summoned them: louder than any vocal strains
My oddness was noticed more than their oneness
Their group surpremacy paled in to insignificance
In the radiance of my difference
They desired that glow, that individuality
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