Sitting by the Yoshioka Gawa River, Kurashiki, Okayama - Draft 2

A swallow plays with it’s shadow, reflecting in the river’s afternoon haze.

The popping of tennis balls’ on a soft clay court.

A tannoy from the school, rises over rooftops, and into backyards
where children play.

An old man stubbles, his white steel cane, scrapes and jolts along the river’s
stony path.

Children squat by the water; dad helps them to cast their reels
Farmers’ burn their grass, the heavy smoke smart’s my eyes.

To sit, be still

I think of your reassuring smile, your raucous laughter, your attentive ear

I want to go home.

Comments

Belinda i really enjoy your

Belinda i really enjoy your writing, i like the images you present without being too involved, simplicity comes to mind. Favorite lines are the first two, they remind me of great summers i've had. My only criticism is that i don't feel tannoy fits your piece. :)

Hello David, Thank you very

Hello David,

Thank you very much for your comments.

I've now taken out the word 'Tannoy' after re-reading the poem, I can see how it misfits with the flow of the piece.

Thank you so much

Belinda