Cycling 2
Wed, 15/04/2009 - 05:57 — Belinda Johnston
Four women - side by side
Cycling
Like wheels, turning: Collecting
Leaves and gravel - their lives repeat
Biting air brushes their cheeks
Lacquered hair - glows below the moon’s beam.
A silence sets in - Except for the droning of bicycle lamps
And the pinging of stones’ against spokes.
White plastic bags; rustle in the night wind
The scraping of heels, between stop signs: Breaks their journey
Road works ahead.
Three take the tarmac path - smooth; safe
The other - braves the boulders, dipping down ditches;
Dirt dashes her legs; soaking her socks.
By Belinda Johnston
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Comments
yes its
much better now, though now I find the punctuation in places weird! -pete
hi Belinda
i like the images in this - I feel that I can see clearly the scene and the rhythms work well - like dipping down ditches, stones against spokes and so on...
maybe it's me - but the word 'glows' feels warm against the 'biting' air and not sure if you wanted this contrast?
steve
Comment from Nabila
very good . Much more engaging.