Commonword Blogs

Alhamdulillah words hey :-)

First thing: title has to change. Get rid of what?
rest - have made some slight changes but I always feel we need to recognise what we do repeatedly in our work so that we are better critics of our own work. As with your previous piece, feedback here is no different. Hope this helps.

(three dots are an odd habit sometimes and don't do anything in a poem)

There never was any clumsy door or bitter window
To get out of the messes and massacres
All shrouded me as a toy
Enveloped with a father’s hands
Worried, sensitive and sincere.

I’m a piece of skull to amuse the visitors
Kept and well decorated in a showcase,
a fallen object from the sky
To the ground of uncertainty
beneath nothing but next to inability
To get rid of the moth-eaten earth
My life - wasted and restless
Configured which with customs and tradition,
Planted all around by opportunistic, vulgar hands –
The hands of my father's forefathers
And all the following generations …

I have a small new collection of poems focusing on Islamin the West - can I send you a couple? Blog restrictions allow one a week and I have already posted two . Have to send these off to a publisher next week and would really appreciate some feedback from a Muslim's perspective. Would appreciate your comments on the poem on here 'Our shoulders'

Please let me know by email nabilasuriya@hotmail.co.uk (I can't find your email on here so apologies for taking up blog space)