In Favour of Humanity
Sun, 24/05/2009 - 04:37 — Abu Sayed
May my voice raise louder and more louder …
Till it reaches to the highest heaven
In favour of every human and in against all evil.
May my pen write sharpen and more sharpen …
Till it becomes the edge of a shiny sword
That cuts open every neck of wild wolves.
May my effort be in eternal engagement …
With every individual spirit in its each well wish
And against all its false of coexistence.
May all my hours be spent for the betterment of
Peoples’ Kingdom and public benefit …
Until this body mine becomes dust and reaches from dust to dust.
Comments
Too cut and dried
too cut and dried for me : good - evil, not really how the world works.
if you want to inspire the reader you have to speak to them as well as preach (john donne was brilliant at this). your other poem is more interesting because it attempts more.
imagery wise, in the tradition the images are fine but again what is there to inspire a modern reader. like urdu love poetry, because it derives from the persian, but honestly there's only so much you can say about a rose unless you change the context.
e.g. cutting open the neck of wild wolves (does that mean tame ones are good? also i happen to like wolves because they are so perfectly adapted to their environment) not particularly interesting. meeting the wolf in the street, that would be interesting.